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| I have to wonder, why the fuck do I never say whatever is on my mind? I'm just dying to say it but I keep my mouth shut so that nobody would think I'm weird or whatever if I said it. I wanted to tell a friend that he's being way too clingy to me, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him straight up. Clingy as in my attention should only belong to him and only him, and because he's always gossiping about crap that I don't even give a damn about. It's more like feeling annoyed by him in a sense. But I just can't say it to him. At all. Why is it easier to to tell other people about a single person than face to face with the one person?
I know deep down I don't wanna hurt him but it just annoys the fuck out of me. It really pecks at my insides because I'm not being outspoken as I should be. You just have to wonder, will I have this problem when I grow up? I hope not. I'm tired of being silent and shy, but I just can't help it. Especially around boys. That's why I can never talk to anyone I like. I'm just so shy and twitchy that I just embarrass myself. It's an annoying attribute of myself that's very hard to get rid of.
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| Taking a break from my government outlines to post a blog. A whole outline on chapter one of government. Due tomorrow. What the fuck right? At first I was writing it on lined paper, then I thought to myself it would take too long so I switched to typing it instead. It's much faster... if I don't procrastinate.
I couldn't sleep well last night. I didn't even fall asleep until 4 in the morning. I guess my sleeping patterns still haven't adjusted correctly, which is seriously going to fuck me over as soon as the year progresses some more. On Sunday I was so tired I slept for 60% of the day. When it was time for me to actually sleep for school, I just stared at my ceiling for four hours straight. And when I woke up in the morning, I felt like crap. I wanted to just stay in bed and get my usual hours of sleep. I couldn't believe I stayed awake all day. As soon as night comes I'm probably gonna crash like... boom.
You know how everyone tells you your senior year in high school was going to be a piece of cake? THEY LIE. Most of my classes are electives, yet my two major classes are the ones that are going to give me a huge headache. Tests every week, creative writing every day, memorization of political policies... I'm basically signing my own death contract with my own blood. I just hope senioritis doesn't kick in too soon. I will definitely screw myself over if that happens.
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|  I have absolutely no fucking idea what to do on my government homework, so I'm just going to write the most random and logical shit I can think of. Dude, I don't even give a crap about the upcoming presidential elections, why do I have to write about it? I'm not of age yet and I can't make a difference since I can't vote, so why do I have to care? Government as a class is seriously downright fucking retarded. I can't wait for economics next semester though. All we teenagers care about anyway is money money money. No money, no go, that's what I always say.
I stayed up all night last night because of the nap I took when I got home from school. Then I went to bed at around 7 in the morning and woke up at like 3 in the afternoon. Now that I have school I have to adjust my sleeping habits or I'm going to be falling asleep in my fifth period class again. Last time I did that I got caught and was given detention for the amount of time I fell asleep. I don't remember how long of course, but I don't wanna waste my time in class after school when all I did was fall asleep and not disrupt class. Ugh.
Cheers to a dandy weekend, I needed that break.
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|  Hah, another new layout. I had a lot of free time today. I actually worked on it like pretty late last night and then left it unfinished till I got home. It was hard trying to work the background to repeat the way I wanted, but I'll just stick with what I got. I'm too lazy to figure things out.
School today wasn't so bad. Since I have a first period now, I woke up earlier than I should and got ready. My mom dropped me off at school with a half hour to spare. So, what to do? Get breakfast and just sit in an art class for a little while and eat while I can. At first I thought most of my friends got the same class as I did, but I had to be in a different art room. I was sad that I left them. All we did in there was replicate drawings from tiny boxes to form a hawk, eagle, some man eating bird of some sort. Did like one third of the boxes and put the paper away for Monday to finish. After I went to my government class and worked on worksheets. After I did all of my extra credit, I'm pretty much so guaranteed an easy A so far.
I went to the office and passed call slips for the classes. There's like two other Office Aides and they always go together to the classrooms. I go alone. And since I go alone and I was the first one back, one of the counselors made me give a school tour for some new kids from New York. I think I wasn't a very good tour guide because I was fidgeting around with the papers and rushed around before I could show them any of the classrooms. But I think I answered most of their more important questions. Afterwards I came back and sat down in the office and waited for fourth period, which was a senior assembly. Sat there listening to old people talk, and I have to say I'm creeped out by one of our assistant principals. He told us the school was installed with a new security camera system, and all he does is sit in his office and watch us on the monitors, and he'll know what we're doing. I was so creeped out I called him a psycho, of course not to his face but in my head, lol. After that was lunch, then my fifth period. By that time, I started to get tired and sleepy. I slept through a good five minutes without hearing much of anything from reading, and then we were told to write qualities on the colors that best describes us. And then she made us read it to the people on our tables. That really made me feel like, ugh.
Since I have no sixth period, I get to go home early. Angela waited for me outside the school and she wanted to get a ride home with me. I asked my mom if we could drop Angela off her place, and she was alright with it. We dropped her off and then went back home.
I have like almost no homework other than government homework, and I could've taken my art assignment home but the teacher said we didn't have to. So far so good. Two days of school and now it's break time. Then after that, school again. And there goes the cycle again for a while.
Ah, I kind of missed this routine.
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